July 8, 2006
Hellogoodbye – Jesse Kurvink & Marcus Cole

C = Cath, J = Jesse, M = Marcus

C: For the record, can you state your name and what you do in the band?
J: My name’s Mike Damone & I’m a ticket scalper.
M: Jeff Spicolli. I just hit up the beach, eat some burritos…
J: All he needs are some cool waves and a tasty buzz and he’s fine.

C: Can you describe every member of the band in 3 words each?
J: I’m Damone. I’m stylish, hip, and sketchy.
M: Jeff Spicolli. Little stoned, little buzzed, loves the beach.
J: Then we’ve got Mark Ratner, our singer. A little nerdy, but with a big heart. And then we’ve also got Brad Hamilton, our drum player. He’s responsible and trustworthy.
M: And he works at All-American Burger.
J: All-American!

C: What’s the best thing in your opinion about being in a band?
J: The chicks are great.
M: The chicks love you and all the dudes want to be you.
J & M: What more could you ask for?

C: Your new CD is coming out in the beginning of August. What’s your favorite song off the album?
J: That might be “Hot For Teacher”. *singing* Got it made, got it made, got it made!
M: It would probably be “Bikeage”.
J: “Bikeage” is another great cut off our new record due out on August 8th.
M: On Drive-Thru Records.
J: Drive… Thru.

C: So your new album –
M: I want to ask the questions.
C: Ok.
*Marcus takes interview questions*
M: Brad, the new album contains a lot of songs that had been previously re-
J: My name is Mike Damone.
M: Where’s Brad?
J: Brad is over doing another interview!

M: Ok Mike, the new album contains a lot of songs that had been previously released before you guys got signed to Drive-Thru. Why did you decide to re-release them on the new album?
J: Is this like a fucking attack? Do you think you’re the fucking shit?
C: No, I was just curious.
J: Why did we decide to do it? Uh, I’ll give you a three-word answer to that question: punk as fuck! That’s what we are and that’s how we do things.
M: Bad ass. Bad ass. Alright, next.

M: I saw on the Hellogoodbye message board that some people were upset with your choice to do this. How does it make you feel to know that some of your fans don’t support the decisions you are making?
J: All the kids who look up to me, you can suck my dick!
M: For the record, I think he was joking. He’s got a big smile on his face.
J: It was either say that, or say, “those guys are faaags!”.
M: That’s what I would say.
J: Uhm, how do I feel? You know…
M: If y’all don’t like me, blow me. You know what I’m sayin’?
J: Yea, basically! We’re trying to go out and do something and make something happen. If people look at what we’re making happen, and they think something else should happen, its like… It’s a way of looking at the waves and saying, “Hey bud, let’s party”.
M: Let’s party!
J: And it’s like, why can’t we all just party together, no matter what the soundtrack is? Even if it’s a Motion City Soundtrack.

M: Next question. Damone, can you hook me up with some Blue Oyster Cult tickets?
J: No I do not have any Blue Oyster Cult. I had 20 pairs last time around, where were you? I came this close to working at a Seven Eleven.

M: Mike, this is your first year playing the Warped Tour. How do you like it so far?
J: The chicks are great. You know, it’s like every night is like a huge party. I’ve been listening to a lot of Van Halen, “1984”… Warped Tour is cool because it’s cool to be on a tour and get a chance to wear some cool shorts, cool belts, boots…
M: We’re bringing boots around.
J: It’s a good chance to see some new wardrobes that you don’t usually see at a club, because it’s all outdoors.

M: What is your favorite city to play a show in? Why?
J: My favorite city to play a show in would have to be Boise, Idaho, purely for the reason that the crowds are not only bountiful, but they go fuckin’ off!
M: Two words: Orange County.
J: Ever heard of it? Not Florida, not New York…
M: Five more words: Because my house is there.
J: More importantly, the 5 syllables: De-rek Zoo-lan-der.

M: This is aimed at Jesse & Marcus, who aren’t here, but I think Damone & Jeff can handle these.
J: We’ll do what we can.
M: I’ve been keeping up on the Hellogoodbye tour blog & I know you have been watching a lot of “Nightmare On Elm Street” movies.
J: Fuck yeah! Fuck yeah! Thank you! Finally, a fucking interviewer I can relate to!
M: If they came out with another movie and made up a new character just for you, what would your character’s name be, and how would you want to die?
J: God, what a question.
M: Wow… Where do you even start with a question like this?
J: I would like to say that both me and Marcus would be long lost relatives of Ronald Kincaid.
M: Obviously!
J: The obvious best character of the “Nightmare On Elm Street” series.
M: By the way… Sherwood. Ernie Ball. 6:25.
J: By the time you read this, this show will be much in the past. But, if you have accessibility to a flux capacitor and a delorian, you can go back to today’s date and you can watch Sherwood on the Ernie Ball stage at 6:25!
M: But back to the question, Kincaid.
J: Obviously, I think we would want to be the descendants of Kincaid. And how would I want to die?
M: A guy who has lines like “Krueger! Pussy!” “Krueger get out here you burnt face pussy!”
J & M: “Let’s go kick that mother fucker’s ass all over dreamland!”
M: “That don’t mean dick! My dog likes me!”
J: I would want to die in the moshpit at a Descendants concert.
M: Wow, where do you even start with a death from Freddy. There are so many possibilities.
J: I would be at a Descendants concert, but dreaming that I was at a Descendants concert from 1983, and Milo Aukerman would turn into Freddy Krueger, come down from the stage-
M: Pick you up by your throat and just smash you-
J: Against the amp while they are playing “Suburban Home”.
C: That was pretty detailed.
J: We put a lot of thought into these questions!

M: Damone, if you had the chance to interview your biggest influence, who would it be, and what’s one question you would ask them?
J: That’s a good question. I would interview Bruce Springsteen and I would ask him simply “Why are you so much more badass than I am?”.
M: Then I would follow up that question by saying “Where is your sister, Pamela Springsteen, and will she autograph my Sleep Away Camp Box Set?”.
J: The star of “Sleep Away Camp 2 – Happy Campers” & “Sleep Away Camp 3 – Teenage Wasteland”. Pam Springsteen.
M: Could you get a cooler family?
J: If you can find a cooler family…
M: You let us know.
J: Yea, let us know.
M: And we’ll start talking about them in interviews.
C: Well, we’re pretty cool. *points at my sister and I*
J: Are you guys sisters?
C: Yea.
M: Ask us if we’re brothers.
C: Are you guys brothers?
J & M: No… YES!
J: No wait, ask us again.
C: Are you guys brothers?
J: Listen, we really appreciate the set up, but right now we don’t have the time.

*Jesse’s phone rings and he answers it*
J: Hey, what’s up? Hey, I’ve got Jared Balbus on the phone. Jared, say something to the interviewer that we’re doing right now.
*Jesse puts speaker to my recorder. You can hear a little incoherent noise*
J: I hope that picks up. That’s Jared Balbus, he’s a fucking legend!


M: Ok, this is aimed at Hayley.
C: No! Wrong interview!
J: No, just start asking us the Paramore questions.
C: Why?
J: They’re over there, they’re eating, they’re doing another interview…

M: Ok. Hayley, the music business has always been a male dominated occupation. How does it make you feel to know that you’re inspiring girls to get out there and join/start up their own bands?
J: I think it’s true that the music industry has always been a patriarchal industry, one that is plagued with misogynistic undertones. I feel that being a strong female role model in the independent music scene is a very important thing. For instance, in my band Paramore, I’m the singer. When was the last time you even saw a band that had a girl in it?
M: No Doubt.
J: No Doubt, you know? And it’s like, No Doubt did their thing-
M: Britney Spears. Does that count?
J: No, Britney Spears does not count. But you know, No Doubt did their thing but I would like to s-
M: Smut Peddlers.
J: Maybe you’ve never heard of The Anniversary.
M: Mates of State.
J: You know, I just think it’s a really big thing to get all the girls… Rainer Maria.
M: Meg & Dia.
J: I think it’s important that the girls in this world that want to have a future in music and want to be in this industry that’s so hard to break into should go out and pick up a guitar, go on stage, and say “Listen! Suck my dick if you don’t like it!”.
C: Except girls don’t have dicks…
J: Oh, you think you know more about Biology than me?! Mr. Nichols, Freshman Year, B+ & A-, First Semester & Second Semester. And yea, I didn’t even cheat on the final off of Natalie M.

M: Last question, Damone. If you could choose any animal to be Paramore’s mascot, what would it be and why?
J: That’s a good question! I would say…
M: Once again, how do you even begin with a question like that?
J: Either a phoenix, because they’re badass, or Edna the fighting squid.
M: I would say Edna the fighting squid. She’s buried at the 50-yard line.
J & M: “Stay off the lines!”.

C: Ok, do you have anything else you want to say?
J: Uh yea, check us out. We’re called Paramore & we’ve got a chick in our band.